Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Funny Hindi Jokes

A cow is a completely automated milk-manufacturing machine.
It‘s encased in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical moveable supports, one on each corner.
The front end contains: the cutting and grinding mechanism, as well as, light sensors, air inlet and exhaust, bumper and a fog horn.
The rear end contains: the dispensing apparatus and automatic fly swatter.
The central section houses a hydro-chemical conversion plant. This consists of four fermentation and storage tanks, an integrated network, which is connected to the rear-dispensing unit.
In brief the extremely visible features are:
2 lookers, 2 hookers, 4 stander-uppers, 4 hanger-downers and a swissy-wissy.

Source: Military Jokes

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.

“Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I‘m here.“

The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

“Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I‘m here.“

The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.

“Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but...“

“Let me guess,“ the General interrupted, “it broke down.“

“No,“ said the G.I., “there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them.“
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Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

Source: Thanksgiving Jokes

Martha had a parrot called Brutus, the only problem was that Brutus cussed something awful. Now Martha was having her in-laws over for Thanksgiving, and so she needed to train Brutus quickly not to swear.

Just before her Mother-in-law was due Brutus cussed terribly, so Martha but him in the freezer for 2 minutes to literally cool off. Then she opened the door and took out the parrot along with the turkey.

‘And have you learned your lesson about cussing?‘ Martha asked the parrot.

Brutus the parrot took one look at the dead turkey and said: ‘I sure have. But I have one I have a question, “What did the turkey do?“ ‘
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Why did helen keller go crazy?
She was trying to read a stucco wall.

Source: Helen Keller Jokes

What was Helen Kellers favorite childhood game?
Musical Chairs
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Boy to girl at a dance party: “Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”

Girl reply: “Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”

Boy: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.


Source: Hindi Jokes

Saheli dosri se tmhara zyada khayal kon krta he?
Mera pati.
Or sabse acha kon lagta ha?
Tera pati
Ohhh
Hmari aadatein kitni milt he
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Before a party, set up a video camera in the bathroom and take about fifteen minutes of just the empty bathroom (toilet in plain view). When it’s time for the appropriate guest to relieve themselves, gather the rest of the guests and sit them down in front of the television with the video tape playing. When the guest leaves the bathroom and finds everyone sitting around laughing at the television showing the room that the guest was just occupying, horror and hilarity will ensue.

Source: Practical Jokes

Have a friend distract someone who has just opened a bottle of coke (I imagine it might work with other pop as well, but am not sure) While the “mark“ is not looking, drop a couple of M&M‘s into the open bottle. Let the person get back to their drink. In short order, the cola will start to foam...and foam and foam and foam.
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